Saturday, October 18, 2014

Day 18: Consistent Work, Consistent Offering

I love this quote from Elisabeth Elliot.  I use the mantra "this job, not some other" when I am tired and disgruntled.  This is where I am meant to be, nowhere else.  This is the toilet I am meant to be scrubbing, not some other (I jest).

The work may seem endless, but it is ultimately for an endless, infinite God.  That perspective helps me when I am helping ungrateful children and when I feel ungrateful myself.

I love my life.  I begged God for this life.  I truly believe that God used all of my pregnancy losses and delayed adoptions to make my desire for children grow.  Perhaps I would have stopped after two children if they had come easily to me;  if I had not had a chance to see how precious a gift motherhood is and how desperately I wanted it.

When I feel overwhelmed and tired and sorry for myself, I try to remember how much my heart ached when I saw mothers with children.  When I had no children of my own, I knew something central was missing from my life.

And that was a gift.  Because I can never wonder if there is a better life out there for me.  I had it and I hated it.  I cried out for the kids and the chaos and all the work that comes with it.  

Be careful what you wish for.
(I jest again)

1 comment:

  1. 100% with you. I have one child, born when I was 41. I remember being joyful at 2am diaper changes because I finally had him to do it for. I thank G-d every day for my family.