Christopher's pictures leave me with the feeling that he is sad, a little neglected, a little lonely. I hope I am wrong, and that he is just one of those kids who won't cooperate with a photographer to save his life. I have to remember how Olivia -- our first child, adored from the moment we discovered we had conceived -- scowled in all of her baby pictures!
I am sure that part of my concern is due to the fact that I recently heard a talk about special needs adoption in which the moderator spoke about the treatment of her son in orphan care due to his limb difference. She spoke about how in some parts of China and some other countries limb differences are considered especially taboo. They are sometimes considered to be bad omens, or part of a family curse. Often, the caretakers themselves will stay away from children with limb differences, or even separate them from other children. Supposedly, this is true even more for missing fingers, toes, arms, or legs, than it is for other special needs.
With this in my mind, I suppose it is hard to look at any of Christopher's pictures with an open mind. I know that historically this time -- the days before I travel -- have been my "freak out" time. It is finally dawning on me that I am going to be meeting another human being and bringing him home with me! Worlds are colliding, and it is so wonderful but also scary.
Praying I can sleep during the next few anxious days, and that my baby boy is safe and that his heart is prepared to meet his new mama.