Free

People keep asking me how homeschool is going, how I like it.  And, truthfully, what comes to mind is, "I am free!"  I feel so unburdened and light.  Not the answer many might expect.  I am not a martyr.  I like "me-time."  I like quiet.  But homeschooling, so far, is less stressful than driving the kids to school and keeping up with all of the classroom activities, homework, field trips, papers, playdates, and parent association responsibilities that schools generate.  I would rush around all day getting things done for the kids -- things like gathering photos to be sent in for projects, getting lunches packed, making parent-teacher meetings, answering parent emails (little things that, when added together, take all day long) -- and then I would fall into bed exhausted not having spent any real time with them that day.  I was stressed out getting them up and out the door in the morning, stressed out driving from one school to the next, stressed out picking them all up and getting to various after school activities, and then stressed out getting dinner made at the end of the day.  And, since Ellie is still only 2, I did not have that "me-time" in the middle of the day that others think I am giving up.

So, right now, homeschooling is just freeing.  We get up and, yes, we are busy all day long,  Yes, I am a little stressed as I juggle 4 different kids' needs (and sometimes those needs all arise at the same moment!).  But, for me, that stress is nothing compared to the anxiety that getting my children prepared and off to 4 separate spaces each day.  I suppose it is just a personality thing. 

I like the unity of our life right now.  There is one schedule, one home base, one set of standards.  Yes, the kids have separate after 'school' activities, because -- in moderation -- it is nice for the kids to have their own space, a little break from the family.  But, all in all, I know what is going on with each of my kids.  I don't constantly feel like I am trying to play catch-up with what is going on in their lives. 

I feel this newfound freedom in my bones.  I am just less tense, muscles less clenched.  I feel at peace with our decision.  THIS is what making an authentic decision feels like. 

PS I think the kids like it, too