So...about those 31 days...yeah, I didn't keep up. It is ironic, isn't it? A series about being consistent - and I was inconsistent. I kind of predicted it, didn't I?
I have been thinking a lot lately about why I am inconsistent. Not beating myself up about it, just trying to really look at the why's. This is what I came up with:
Number one: I have a lot on my plate. And so do a lot of other people I know who also tell me they are inconsistent about exercise, meal planning, getting up early, or the likes.
Number two: I set goals that are too lofty. At least they are too lofty for this time in my life. Blogging once or twice a week probably would have worked. But, every day? It is just unrealistic now. Possibly, yes. But not probably.
Number three: I put off what I can't do perfectly. I have been kind of avoiding this blog because I want it to be better. I don't like the way it reads as "look at this wonderful life, praise Jesus!" I want to write about the more complicated, nuanced, realness of this life, but I just don't have the time or energy or the quiet to write about anything that takes deep thought. So I revert to a pretty shallow style. The perfectionist in me hates this. Hates putting anything out there that I am not 100% proud of.
But, I am trying to fight against this instinct, and remind myself why I am writing. Not to impress anyone. Not to win awards. But simply so my family will have a written account of our life together and my thoughts, however basic, about it. Also, I hope that perhaps I might connect with other people out there through this blog.
So, I will continue to post here -- imperfectly and inconsistently. With the hope that doing something is better than planning to do something perfectly and never doing it.
"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never. In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony." - William Henry Channing