Friday, October 18, 2013
Our agency sent us an update on Elijah, which included 4 photos. What a joy to see his face again. I can't imagine what it will be like to see him again after almost 3 years.
Elijah is living with a foster family since his former home, An Orphan's Wish, closed at the end of August. The report tells us that Elijah gets along very well with the family. He is very attached to the younger foster sister and the older brother. We are told of him going for walks outside with the adults, going to the park with the kids, being read to, and of him attending a family wedding.
I did start to feel a bit worried when I saw the pictures and read the report, because Elijah looks so settled where he is. He looks so happy. He sounds like he fits right in. I don't want him to be torn away from the only family he has ever known. I don't want him, in the future, to wish he was back with them and not with us.
But as my wise friend reminded me, it is SO good that he is experiencing family life. As far as I know, he has never lived outside of a group living setting. He is getting some much-needed practice in some things that are second nature to most of us: obeying parental figures, observing and being comfortable around familial affection, practicing good manners, to name just a few.
And no matter what, Elijah will have to deal with grief. Whether it is because of missing his foster family, or just because he misses his friends, culture, language, food -- the list goes on and on. Elijah is going to have so much adjusting to do, and I pray that we have what it takes to ease that pain for him and to be his 'soft place to fall.'
I read an excellent blog post about older child adoption that I am sure I will refer to again and again. Check it out, if you have the time.